Friday, December 20, 2013

The Sausage, Egg and Cheese Cure.

After I'd spent about 6 solid hours trying to quench the indigestion that was brought on from a skelp of pints topped off with a 24 hour garage 'Salad' sandwich (duly stuffed with a packet of crisps), my weary body informed me that sausage sandwiches would be the requirement of the afternoon.
I'm fussy of late when it comes to sausages, I like the good quality ones but none of those apple or red wine infused excuses, I've yet to meet one of them I can get on with. There's no need for that messing. For this I used plain Nolan's (of Kilcullen, Co.Kildare, naturally) Sausages. They're the business. Cue roars of "Have you not tried Superquinn sausages?!?" Yes I have. Settle down, they're lovely. They're like Willie Nelson, Michael Collins and The 2nd (Bale) Batman movie all rolled into one. But they're a little hard to come by in my part of the world, and until I put them side by side and am proved differently I'll argue that Nolan's are just as good. End of.

Fry up them sausages, like a good lad!

I hadn't planned on on this particular variety of sausage sandwich, which on appearances might appear to be a homage to an item Mickey D's pedal on their breakfast menu (with the manky rubber egg disc thing), but Easi Singles were on a special offer and well, what are you gonna do? At first I wasn't going to risk an egg in this too, but sure fuck it, it's Christmas, may as well.

I'd seriously advise not going for a higher class of cheese in this beast, melted processed cheese and good sausage meat together is, if you haven't already tasted it, aces.

One and a half slices on each. Cover every inch. No Fear.

Right, with your sausages nearly done, toast a couple of slices of bread then cover them in cheese slices and slide them under a grill for a few minutes till the cheese starts to bubble and gets that nice, enticing, plasticy, cling film sheen that makes you question whether you unwrapped the cheese in the first place.

Yes, I did take a bite out of a sausage before it went into the sandwich. 

This is where you have to take a little care. Everything needs to be hot, but, crucially, not boiling hot. Don't be afraid to let the toast sit out for a couple of minutes, that cheese needs to cool a good bit from its molten level before it hits your mouth. A burned mouth is very uncool, pun intended. It's best to only fry the egg only when the cheesy toast is out and cooling down, you want the egg landing on the sandwich straight from the pan so it's as fresh as possible. Lash the sausages on one side, the fried egg the other. Close it up and you're away. 

Like I always say, "an egg yoke the consistency of a nose bleed is what you're after"

Give it another minute, there's no rush, let the cheese get to know the sausage and egg before its timely end.

Dig in and savour it. It's delicious. Rich is the word here. A really rich flavour, the gooey cheese mingling in with the sausages in a not unromantic fashion, just beautiful. And the egg? It's like an extra 10 euro credit, topping up the richness level. The boring white part joining forces with the gluey melted cheese to form an amazing taste and texture. It's a party.
Now at some point you will get the distinct feeling that maybe you've "gone a little too far, this time". Don't mind those thoughts, it's only The Fear trying to put the spooks up you. You finish this sandwich and you'll finish The Fear, for the day anyway. 
I tested this in my normal capacity by immediately making and eating a second one just in case the first was a fluke or if I was just letting my emotions get the better of me. It wasn't and I wasn't. Don't eat one (or two) of these on a work day, there'll be no 'joie de vivre' to take on the world after this. You'll be resigned to the couch for the day with a 2 litre bottle of fizzy drink and a large Turkish Delight, but it'll be some day.

For more of this brand of shite on a more frequent basis like or a follow on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, you'll feel all the better for it.